Posted by workinprogress on December 22, 2009, at 0:31:44
Hey there all. Dinah replied to one of my replies to her saying, "it sounds like you're in one of those deepening phases of therapy". I guess I am, but I'm really frustrated and confused too, because it feels like I'm going in circles. I'd love any feedback anyone has...I am in one of those deepening phases, I suppose it's going well, because it kinda sucks and I'm totally confused.
We talk about the same issue- emotional abandonment- over and over. I'm finally getting that it's not that you "get" or "don't get" the stuff around emotional abandonment... but that it's a big box with lots of stuff in it. And that it keeps coming up because there's lots of stuff there. Ok, so, I've gotten past "getting it" but now I'm totally confused because I worked through things in such a better way than I have before, but then my T and I decided I was avoiding the issue in favor of the process.
We spent a bit of time this session talking about how I "thought through my feelings" and didn't melt down/flood. Yay me! But, that then, in the session, I was spending all my time talking about that instead of the actual issue- emotional abandonment- AGAIN- I don't know what more to say!!!
Then T said there's a difference between wallowing and intellectualizing, but you also don't want to flood or "amp up". I thought what I was doing was not wallowing, but thinking about the feelings I had and talking myself through them, but then today we decided that I intellectualized. But whenever I think about my feelings around our conversation: fear, self-loathing, etc. - I kick into "thinking them through" and then I feel like I'm back to intellectualizing. And I feel like I'm back to therapy square one. And I'm really F***king frustrated...
Does that make sense to anyone??? Any thoughts?
Would Love Help...
WIP
poster:workinprogress
thread:930277
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/930277.html