Posted by Garnet71 on August 1, 2009, at 17:26:48
How do you stop painful thoughts and emotions from renumerating through your mind? I feel immobilized and have not able to do anything for the last few days. I'm finishing up the semester, have loads of work and final exams, but can't do a thing and haven't gone to class.
I tried Prozac 10 mg a few days ago, but starting having suicidal thoughts so I quit after 2 days of taking it. I also have klonopin but have not yet taken it because I'm afraid of it making me worse off as in tired. I am avoiding xanax during the day, but still take it at night just to get some sleep.
Repressed emotions from childhood opened with a new therapist a few weeks ago. I was traumatized by the situation and have not yet recovered. He handled the situation horribly, and I haven't found a new therapist yet.
Thoughts of being objectified by this doctor are renumerating through my mind over and over and over and over again. The last time I felt like this was about 9 years ago, when I was in a relationship with a narcissist. Already well into the relationship, it was upon the sudden realization that I was viewed as nothing more than an object to him that triggered these emotions and I was then diagnosed with PTSD.
There is something about being objectified that is extremely triggering for me, and I can't think of anythign that causes more pain inside. It probably has something to do with how I was treated as a child. My parents never showed me love, or gave me emotional warmth. My mother neglected me and never protected me from SA and emotional abuse. Like I never mattered or really existed.
I wish I could just disassociate from all of this. Why aren't my coping mechanisms working? For a couple days, I turned the situation around-pretending it was a positive thing and that more positive effects would come out of it. That strategy is no longer working.
I can't stop crying and thinking about this and am now scared I'm going to fail the semester as I only have a few more days to accomplish a tremendous amount of work that the longer I wait, the more humanly impossible it will be to finish it all.
poster:Garnet71
thread:909724
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/909724.html