Posted by Dinah on March 30, 2009, at 20:38:33
In reply to Re: First 3 words in a session?, posted by Kenya on March 30, 2009, at 16:38:31
See, I'd find your therapist's approach guaranteed to close me up like a clam. That may be just me, but when I'm pressured to perform I can't.
With my therapist, I'd then focus on the immediate feelings. "I'm finding it difficult to find a way to start off the session." Then something built on that like "Before I come, I have a general idea of what is bothering me, but when I get here, I can't think of a way to introduce it." or "Once I sit down, everything flees my mind." Whatever is accurate.
There are ways to figure out what to say. You could write things down in a list, and choose a likely one to start the session. But I'm sort of getting that the problem isn't so much that you need a topic as you need to warm up a bit with your therapist, and she keeps ping ponging things back to you.
It is your session, and it is your responsibility to guide it. But it's her responsibility to facilitate it. To make it easier for you to discuss what's on your mind.
My therapist believes in the client driven session too. But he's willing to work with me. I've found the words "I'm not finding it useful when you...." very useful indeed. I've said "I hate it when you ask what do I want to talk about today. It makes my brain freeze." or "When you sit and look at me expectantly, every single thought exits my brain. And I feel a strong pressure inside to sit there until you say something." I'm not saying that you'd say what I'd say, because I'm known to be a bit stubborn and contrary. But the point is that saying anything at all depends on a rapport between you and your therapist. Or at least it does for some people. If she's making you feel pressured or put on the spot, I'm thinking that's a therapeutic issue because fixing that will help facilitate deeper therapeutic interaction.
Now, as for my actual answer. My therapist and I have worked out long ago that he should say nothing at all to me in that long trek down the hall. Because in the hall, he's not my *Therapist*. When the door closes, and he sits down and looks at me expectantly, these days I ask him how he's doing and if there's anything he needs to tell me. It's a ritual for us, after too many times of him letting me know our next session is cancelled because he'll be out of town right before I walk out the door at the end of session. That wasn't acceptable to me.
Do you generally feel comfortable with your therapist? Do you feel that she is responsive to your concerns?
poster:Dinah
thread:887725
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/887804.html