Posted by lucie lu on March 12, 2009, at 12:20:29
In reply to Re: 'Brief Therapy' » GeneLady, posted by antigua3 on March 12, 2009, at 6:50:38
I have no experience with that specific type of brief therapy. However, all the therapy I had before starting with my current T several years ago, could be considered brief. There was always something immediate that brought me into therapy, whether a depressive episode or a particularly distressing problem or both. I have to say that even though the presenting issues were often addressed satisfactorily, the relief never lasted. IMO people who have had more serious and chronic problems, e.g. long-term trauma histories, are not going to be well served by brief therapies. I subscribe to the brain circuitry school and it seems clear to me that if our brains have taken years to form maladaptive circuits, rewiring those circuits is not going to be possible overnight. I believe that real change of any magnitude takes time.
Why your pdoc thinks increasing your dose of pain and anxiety is therapeutic for you is frankly beyond me. Is he in a hurry for some reason? I think this route poses a very high risk of retraumatizing you. I know you feel that sometimes there is something worthwhile, on balance, in this relationship but I still feel worried for you. You probably know that, from animal studies, intermittent reinforcement is much more compelling than steady reinforcement. That is part of the mechanism of the Stockholm Syndrome.
I have to say that the more I hear of your story with your pdoc, Antigua, the more concerned I feel. I hear you that everything we hear is through your filter. And yes, there may be a few distortions. But overall, you do not seem the sort of person who is incapable of reporting things with overall good accuracy. I think you may be selling yourself short in that department. I think you may be focusing too much on a few blind spots that you've been discovering, while overlooking the accuracy and consistency of the more numerous negative perceptions. Your stories are consistent about him except where it seems almost that you want to sprinkle in some good things about him. And indeed I'm sure he may have some redeeming qualities. But overall? I don't want to try and analyze you, but did something like this happen with your father, where it was such a difficult and painful relationship but you kept hoping there was some good there underneath? If so, I can empathize with that. And if so, I can see re-experiencing but not resolution happening here. Or could it be that the resolution you seek is the opportunity to extricate yourself from a negative relationship by making a positive, healthful choice on your own behalf? Trusting your own feelings and observations? If so, then your therapy with him would have been worthwhile. You may have already gotten out of it the benefits of letting yourself explore the relationship and by making your own choice about when to leave it.
It would be hard for me too to not feel ambivalent about him were I in your shoes. But don't let that blind you to the fact that overall, you are struggling, and have been for some time, with a painful and predominantly negative, potentially traumatizing interaction. Frankly it is hard, at least from the outside, to foresee what the benefit is to this route and it could well end up being damaging. If you want to get over negative paternal transference, it doesn't have to be with someone who is mean to you or where there is real hate and insecurity in the relationship! You can do it even with an empathic and kind male T because of the nature of transference. You can still feel the force of the transference (I promise you!) but without having to worry about whether there is an element of truth to it associated with the T himself.
I hope I am not speaking out of line, Antigua. I am concerned and care about you and wish you well.
Take care, friend.
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:884897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/885026.html