Posted by backseatdriver on March 4, 2009, at 11:27:05
In reply to Re: But I still leave feeling hurt sometimes, posted by Dinah on March 4, 2009, at 11:07:12
Dinah --
I am late to this thread but wanted to chime in. What's striking me right now is the subject of "emotional energy" -- how much is in the room, whose it is, where it comes from, what it does or doesn't do, and how this idea of "emotional energy" has become related to the particular, unique sound of your voice, its cadence, pitch, and volume. And how this emotional energy either enhances or hinders communication of something else that is more important and fundamental - a desire to be seen and recognized and delighted in.
I see a strong maternal, caretaking circuit in play. He may project calm, but you are meeting that projection with a calmness of your own.
I wonder if there is an asymmetry here: you are attuning to all of him but he is attuning only or primarily to the sound of your voice, to the exclusion of what you are saying.
I am interested in the idea of delighting in another person. Praise and appreciation are powerful motivators, yet people rarely go out of their way to appreciate others and express genuine pleasure in them.
Yours,
BSD
poster:backseatdriver
thread:883600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/883708.html