Posted by backseatdriver on December 21, 2008, at 13:10:20
In reply to Re: When your therapist makes a BIG mistake. --- Sigh » Looney Tunes, posted by JayMac on December 21, 2008, at 3:15:33
I just spent four sessions on abandonment, too, in preparation for a three-week "break." So please know that you're not alone.
I did confront my T, for the whole of these four sessions, about the break and what it meant for me. The sessions were full of rage and hatred, which amazingly went both ways. At a certain point, I felt my anger come to an end -- I started to feel ready to stop fighting.
It was good to feel a *whole* emotion for once, from start to finish. It made me realize how rare that is in my life -- I have a small child and my sleep is constantly interrupted, as are my thoughts, my speech, my time alone. So I have discovered that I need to prioritize this subtle thing more -- I need to prioritize "whole" experiences rather than just constantly tantalizing myself with things that always wind up being broken off in the middle.
In other words, I have to stop abandoning *myself* in the million little ways that I habitually do.
This was the good thing that came out of all that confrontation. I risked the relationship -- but it was worth it. Echoing what some other folks have said, if you can confront your therapist with his neglect, and keep confronting until you are really and truly satisfied that he has compensated you for your suffering at his hands, then afterward you might find you have grown in a whole new way.
poster:backseatdriver
thread:869971
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/870058.html