Posted by fleeting flutterby on December 18, 2008, at 15:40:50
In reply to Is therapy just blowing smoke up our a*s?, posted by Looney Tunes on December 17, 2008, at 19:54:03
> Lately I have been having a hard time with therapy. And I don't mean to offend anyone with this post...it is a combinations of thoughts outloud and looking for other people's comments.<<
------- sorry Looney Tunes, that you've been struggling. and no offense taken here.
> I go and see this person 2 times a week that I have EXTREME feelings for and about and it is all fake. I mean, is the point of therapy to make the feelings so difficult and painful that it almost makes life worse? Feelings that are in therapy, but are really from the past?>>
------ just a thought-- but have you considered that maybe going twice a week is too much for your emotional well being? maybe if you went once a week it wouldn't feel as overwhelming?.... just an idea......> Is it real to be sitting in a room with someone who only sees you 1-2 hours per week and blows smoke up your *ss trying to help improve your self-esteem and supporting you, when you know T also supports everyone else?<<
----- hmmmmm I deal with this idea too. That I'm not my T.s "one and only"..... but I wonder-- why is that so important?? to be a T.s only client?? isn't it OK for them to help others that are struggling too?? (I'm asking myself this as well)
> So for example, T supports you as a person who experienced abuse, but in another hour, they could be supporting an abuser?<<----NOW, that would be a relief to me-- to think that my wonderful T. is helping an abuser-- coz then, maybe that abuser will quit abusing!(most abusers abuse becasue they are in some kind of pain that they can't/won't acknowledge.... not that I'm excusing them.. no, no, they have behaved bad and should be held accountable but also they should get help in order to stop the abuse--IMO) alas, most abusers don't even ever go to therapy.... sad.... so sad....
> What does becoming dependent on someone who is really not available as we wish (parents, spouses, friends) do anything for improvement? I am never going to have a mom, so how does "working through it" fix my heartache? It has not so far.<<------ maybe to see that it's NOT your fault and that you are a worthy person of being loved and T. could be trying to show you how to truly love yourself as a child/adult/friend etc...... by T. accepting you, then you too will hopefully be able to accept yourself and then inturn accept others as well.
> While T's are supposedly non-judegemental, truth is everyone has an opinion, so when a T supports something that goes against their beliefs, isn't that lying to us?<<----- here I think is where the acceptance comes in-- the fact that you can be loved and cared about no matter your flaws.... unconditional acceptance.... which is what many many in therapy never got as a child.
> I am really struggling with these ideas. I don't know if that means I am done with therapy, or just beginning, but anyone have any thoughts?<<---- Well, there's my thought and I wish you all the best. We're all here listening.
flutterby-mandy
poster:fleeting flutterby
thread:869336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/869466.html