Posted by Trotter on November 2, 2008, at 11:34:33
In reply to Re: Desire versus Acceptance » Trotter, posted by obsidian on November 1, 2008, at 0:02:58
> sounds kind of buddhist....
I have a Buddhist therapist, and certainly my thinking has been influenced by Buddhist philosophy.
> but yes, that is a huge struggle
> just being ok with what I've got is a hard thing for me to do
> and dealing with all the pain for what I haven't had
> but I'm not sure I want to be ok with what I haven't had
> I don't think it's ok, not for me and not for anyone else eitherSounds like you are suffering from feelings of lack. IMO feeling lack is the source of our desire for things, or for things to be different. Lack is the dark side of desire. The more lack that is felt, the less contentment is possible.
I am not suggesting to just blindly accept everything. Often it is appropriate to want change. But if change is not practical, like with things that have happened in the past, the better able you are to accept and be 'okay' with the past the happier you will feel. It may be a case of accepting what happened as wrong and unfair, but that you are still okay, and you still have opportunities for happiness. I mean, what does it really take to feel okay? Not much really. If we are alive, then we have the capacity to accept our situation as okay. Being okay doesn't have to be a relative term, just an attitude.
> sometimes I can feel acceptance, in certain circumstances
Yes, it isn't a black and white thing we either have or don't have. It certainly depends on circumstances. Some things we can accept more easily than others.
> hope you find some type of middle road :-)
Yes, I am thinking the best approach is probably middle of the road. I am not Buddhist, but I see acceptance and contentment as very desirable for happiness.
Trotter
poster:Trotter
thread:860124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/860374.html