Posted by happyflower on October 27, 2008, at 22:20:18
I think I am scared of both, because they both contain implications in one's life that can be good and bad. Like if you succeed, people depend on you, have high expectations of you , but if you fail, people don't see you as competent. Growing up I didn't have either, nobody cared one way or another.
I didn't go to my internship today because I just didn't feel like it. People are really liking me and think I will be a success, but I don't know if I want to be because of the expectations.But now tomorrow I have another interview for another internship where I was being recommended for. It scared me it seems when people have this much confidence in me. Maybe it has something to do with as a kid, I had to downplay any achievements in order to not make my mom mad or jealous. But I don't have that fear now, but for some reason I want to sabotage myself and I want to hide from these expectations. On the outside I seems very competent and self confident in the work I am doing, but inside, I am scared. It seems like I should be thrilled at others noticing me or having convidence. But I am scared of succeeding and failing, isn't that odd?.
poster:happyflower
thread:859565
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/859565.html