Posted by happyflower on October 22, 2008, at 21:14:05
haha! yup!
I had a good session today, it is feeling more like therapy, not just the intro sessions. She brought up something that I had not noticed before about me. I guess there is some theory where you will marry someone who mirrors your role as a child in order to process it as an adult. Well as a child I took care of myself, I had no choice, and since than I have been independent able person. I tried to take care of my brother, I do take care of my kids, but I also married someone who I take care of (because he is so nieve when it comes to living), I tried to take care of T#2 when his health was deteriorating. I am in an internship where I am helping people take care of themselves, a future T who helps take care of others. See the correlation? I am not sure what it means. Does it mean I became a caregiver because I was never cared for and even this day I don't allow people to take care of me? I guess we will talk more about this but I am not sure what it all means, but I see her observation.
I also told her some of my bad stuff from childhood and she (always at the end of session) reflects on what she notices. She said she saw my emotions come up when I talked about the abuse, and then she saw them calm down like a wave. She said that is very good, that is what she wants me to do so I don't leave the session triggered. She wants me to feel the emotion, but also allow it to dissipate. We started to talk about my safe place and I showed her a photo on my phone of my old man T's picture in his office. ;-)
One cool thing we talked about was the spirit of feeling (like soul mate) that I felt for my first T, and my grandma. She seems to believe in this and is happy I can feel it. We talked about how psychology of science rams it down our throats that if it can't be proved, it isn't real. Well she and I believe there are a lot of things that can't be scientifically proved, that can be real. Plus if it brings us comfort, than who cares?Today I also changes my major to criminal justice. What is cool about this is that you have to take a fair amount of required psych classes, (which I have taken most for a psych major). It also allows for more electives which I can use my other psych classes for and other classes like nonverbal communication. I still have taken or will take the required classes to get into grad school for psych. I am thinking of going into forensic psychology, so the law and psych classes will be an advantage. Plus I can get really cool internships too. Plus I don't have to take 4 semesters of foreign language! ;-)
poster:happyflower
thread:858859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858859.html