Posted by raisinb on October 22, 2008, at 13:02:25
In reply to Re: I walked out of therapy today » raisinb, posted by Dinah on October 22, 2008, at 12:15:53
Thanks so much for the support! I hope my therapist felt those cyber slaps!:) It enrages me that when I'm feeling the worst is when my therapist is most at sea.
I thought long and hard about whether walking out represented progress. I think it does. I spent a lot of months--years--berating my therapist and trying to get her to change everything. I was taking too much on, though. I was trying to fix *her* when I was feeling way too bad to focus on anybody but myself. So I am glad I am at a place where I can say, "this is simple. I come here for help; you're the expert who's supposed to be able to help me. If this isn't helping, I'm leaving. The goal is for me to feel better. Maybe I don't know what will help me, but I'm the client. That's what I come to you for. That's your job, not mine. Trying to shift the responsibility onto my shoulders when I can barely make it through the next hour, let alone the day, is unacceptable. You can either take charge and be the authority figure, the therapist, or I'm leaving."
I'll say as much to her tomorrow in words, I guess. I *was* trying to say that with walking out (good call on that one.)
I'm feeling much better today. I switched my meds back (cyber slap to the pdoc, too) and luckily they seem to be working quickly. I wanted to go off Zoloft because of sexual side effects. But I guess I'll trade sex drive for lack of suicidality. It's not ideal, but for me, it's still an okay deal.
poster:raisinb
thread:858504
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858741.html