Posted by happyflower on October 21, 2008, at 1:33:58
What is wrong with parents who abuse their kids?
Why do people kill and hurt others?
Why do people in positions of authority abuse those they should protect?
Okay I know we are humans and we make mistakes, but abuse just seems not a mistake but an intention to hurt? Why must some people do this?
But then I see someone who did such a beautiful thing at my internship. The agency couldn't help the lady because she didn't meet the income qualifications. Then the lady I was job shadowing, wrote out a check for the lady (but the lady didn't know). A secret donation all because she cared. We need so much more people like this.
I guess I am just angry at the world. I keep trying to trust, but it is so hard when so many people in my life has let me down.Will I ever be able to get over the hurt from my first T? EMDR didn't take the pain away, nor talking about it for hours. Even sabotaging any future of a relationship, didn't help. I even quit the gym, even though he already did, it hurts to be there with those memories.
How do I let go? As much as I feel he was such a jerk what he did, why did I fall in love with him? Why do I still feel that part of him inside of me from day 1. I want to hate him but I can't even when he has hurt me so badly. Why can't I let go? I keep trying. I feel so foolish for falling for him, I knew our relational was wrong, but I didn't care, I wanted him in my life. Now I still miss the jerk. I want to write a letter to say I am sorry for what I did on the internet with his name. But yet, I know I probably won't hear from him. My lady T asked me last week if I knew that I probably won't ever be able to meet with him to wrap things up for myself. Will I feel this way about him forever? The loss I have felt because of him goes so deep inside of me, it hurts so much, it damaged me, truly. I am beginning to wonder if this is just one of those things I just have to live with.
poster:happyflower
thread:858533
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858533.html