Posted by Dinah on October 20, 2008, at 13:03:45
In reply to Re: My T story, posted by Morgan79 on October 20, 2008, at 11:56:09
I can understand why you would think in your case you were culpable as well. For one thing, when you're in a relationship "in my case" is always a factor. I know it is with me. Moreover, it is a fine ethical line. How much are clients responsible?
But that's where the power comes in. Where the power lies, there lies the responsibility. Many clients in long term therapy are going to be seductive in one way or another. We try to engage our therapists, if not into a love relationship, then at least into a loving relationship. I am guilty of the same thing. But to the extent I succeed, it is because my therapist allows me to succeed. Trying to become special to a therapist is almost the job of a long term relationbased therapy client. Getting them to care, getting them to bend the boundaries. We *should* feel free to do that, to at least a limited extent.
Because of the power differential, it's the therapist's responsibility to tell us where the boundaries are and to hold us to it. Even if you were a full fledged therapist, you would still be the client in your own therapy.
I don't want to belabor the point, because I realize you're just trying to come to terms with everything.
I guess it just concerned me that you take so much responsibility for it. When you have clients yourself, I'll bet you'd say that no matter how attractive and appealing a client is, and no matter how much they are attracted to you, it's *your* responsibility, not theirs, to determine the boundaries.
I'll say no more.
poster:Dinah
thread:858382
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858436.html