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Re: Self Harm (triggers) » onceupon

Posted by JayMac on September 25, 2008, at 12:02:24

In reply to Re: Self Harm (triggers), posted by onceupon on September 25, 2008, at 9:10:30

> Why the curiosity?

I've dealt with self harm for many years now. I do harm myself, which is hard to say. I like seeing my own blood. I enjoy the feeling. I especially enjoy the relief. This is something I've done on and off for years. I don't even know that I want to stop. It relieves my emotional pain.

People can more easily speak of their pain, anxiety, depression, but rarely do people speak about how they express their pain, whether it's self harm in the form of cutting or self harm in the form of an eating disorder, or reckless driving, or co-dependent relationships, or drug addiction, or not nourishing our bodies the way we should, or alcohol addiction, or denying our spiritual selves, the list goes on and on.

Yes, I am a relatively high functioning individual, but that's not to say I don't have deep, underlying pain that manifests itself on and within my body and my mind. Sometimes it's the people you least expect to do something, are the very ones that do it. Like many others, I know how to act like everything is ok, like everything is calm, like everything is great.

I don't mean to pour out my negativity on this post. I do mean to express real concern for myself and for others who need the encouragement to speak out against and stop their self harming behavior.

The first time I spoke with my T on the phone, I told her why I was wanting help; she told me: "You don't have to go through this alone. You don't have to have all the answers. There are perfectly good reasons for why you do the things you do."



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poster:JayMac thread:853648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/854003.html