Posted by Tamar on September 2, 2008, at 17:35:36
In reply to My T is back and we met today (long), posted by lucie lu on September 2, 2008, at 12:56:37
Hi Lucie,
Your therapist sounds like a great guy. I like that he was genuinely pleased to see you, that he was pleased about your achievements, and that he got the thing about wanting motherly comfort despite the anger.
I know I definitely put my feelings on hold when my therapist was away all through June. And the first session back is always a difficult one, at least in my experience.
I was really struck by what you said about feeling invisible. I hadnt realised it was an ACOA thing. My dad was alcoholic and I hadnt connected that to my fear of invisibility. And I dont know about you, but there were certainly times when I really needed or wanted to be invisible, to avoid my fathers bullying.
So I feel some conflict about it. I dont want to be invisible to my therapist, but Im also very afraid of letting him see me. Last week my therapist said something about the inside parts of me that I hide becoming real by becoming part of my relationships with other people, and that it can be frightening. (He was more articulate than that, but I cant remember his exact words.) Its interesting (and scary) how the whole issue of visibility / invisibility can be so fundamental to identity as a whole.
Sorry, Im not expressing myself very clearly. I wanted to say something about how even after the relationship ends it still exists - not just as a memory, and not like after a bereavement, but because both the therapist and the client are still part of each others identity. That the people we are afterwards is shaped by the relationship, and those changes dont just disappear. But I cant get the words right I need to start saving up for a bigger brain
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:849897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/849940.html