Posted by raisinb on August 12, 2008, at 22:48:28
In reply to anyone taken a break?, posted by wishingstar on August 12, 2008, at 17:02:02
I've quit/taken a break twice. Both times, it was out of total frustration about a therapy relationship that didn't seem to be working. The first time was a month, the second about five weeks.
Both breaks followed the same emotional pattern. Initially, I felt relieved, in control, and free. I used the time to do much-needed refocusing on myself and my own wellbeing. In about the third week, I started deteriorating. I missed my therapist terribly, hated her for screwing things up, sobbed all the time, etc. So I went back both times.
It doesn't sound like your therapy is as dramatic (in a bad way) as mine. However, it was good for me. I think that I tend to get so focused on the therapy relationship that I disregard my own emotional health. I get into a cycle where I hate everything my therapist does, and I hate myself for staying in such a crappy situation. I got perspective. I was able to go back and express my needs clearly, without screaming "f**ck you" (okay, I only did that a few times :)). I was also able to see that despite the mistakes my therapist made, I loved her anyway because she's gone above and beyond for me countless times. I could see how much I still valued the relationship.
Eventually, I am *hoping* that I'll reach a state where I can be in a very important relationship, yet still take care of myself. Hope springs eternal, right? In the meantime, it may take more breaks, if we get into similar cycles. I'm crossing my fingers that we've learned how to work together better now. But the reality is that we both have flaws and insecurities that might make future times apart necessary, and that's okay with me.
poster:raisinb
thread:845742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/845824.html