Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2008, at 18:43:58
In reply to Re: But now he thinks I'm an addict. Very long. So » Dinah, posted by antigua3 on July 17, 2008, at 13:26:37
Now that's one major concern I have. I was totally unmoved by that tapping therapy. The therapist wanted me to leave early because her arm hurt midway through the second session. She said obviously it wasn't going to happen.
I hypnotize myself all the time. It seems hard to believe that I wouldn't hypnotize easily. But I actually might not ever make it. My therapist doesn't do hypnosis. I know him well enough to relax into it, perhaps. But I have serious doubts about relaxing that much with anyone else. I've been known to have control issues. :)
I don't really want to do any deep probing with it. I know it's supposed to be a bit dangerous with people with dissociative traits. But my ego states have been pretty stable for all these years. I don't imagine I'll discover anything about myself. I just want to do some targeted substitution of enthusiasm topics.
Darned if I know why he singled out sex addiction, other than that he's been to several courses and is in the process of getting certified in it. I guess I'd be a handy dandy practice subject.
I've been completely open about the extent of the sexual part of the enthusiasms. As far as I can tell, it was about a week, and five years earlier about a week, and three years before that about a week. There is no actual acting out in that there is no actual sex involved. I don't much care for sex involving other people. And I wouldn't say that sex takes up an abnormal amount of my time or attention in general. So he says that I have sex addiction all the time, it's just that I exhibit sexual anorexia most of the time. And after looking that one up on the internet, I was really really irate. To be considered sexually anorexic, at least five of the following would have to be true. I'd maybe sort of admit to one of those. And it hurts to think he thinks they apply to me. I don't like sex with others, maybe. But none of those criteria has anything to do with feelings, and everything to do with behaviors. :(
Withholding love
Withholding praise
Controlling with silence or anger
Ongoing or ungrounded criticism
Withholding sex
Unwillingness or inability to share feelings
Staying so busy you have no time for your partner
Controlling or shaming partner with money issuesSorry. I'm ranting a bit. But yes, spending would be involved in many of my enthusiasms, so if anything I belong in debtors anonymous. How he could think anyone like me is sexually addicted is totally beyond me. It's bizarre really.
Sigh. Perhaps I shocked him recently. He swore to me he wasn't as uptight as he looks, and that if I ever knew him in that sense, I'd never say he was conventional. He said perhaps he isn't "loosey goosey" (yes, that expression should have been my tipoff), but that he wasn't uptight either. But I think maybe he really is. I should have listened to my own instincts and not to his self assessment. Guys don't generally like to think they're uptight. Not even therapist guys.
poster:Dinah
thread:840077
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080709/msgs/840262.html