Posted by rskontos on June 17, 2008, at 12:12:20
***Recently I read that when we internalize our therapist to the degree where they become our safe base, we can then begin to confront the really painful feelings of childhood neglect. Studies are showing that children who are neglected are often as damaged as children who are abused. Neglect means you didn't have anyone help you figure out who you are, or mirror to you that you are wonderful. It also means that we didn't have anyone to help with that huge range of emotions - happy and sad and angry and joyful. We begin to limit ourselves because it was all we could handle feeling when we were younger, because we had to feel it on our own. It is a wound that is hard to close and sits inside in such a deep way.****
Are there studies about abused and neglected?
This really impacted me. We were both. I find I have limited myself, nor do I know how to handle the range of emotions nor do I like the range of emotions. I told my T the other day, I was happiest not being in the emotional mind set, I prefer to dissociate at times because I can't handle emotions. I like being numb to feelings because quite frankly I can't handle them.
And to this day, my father likes to point out how unwonderful I still am. He is either neglectful, or hateful. I was guilted into calling him on Father's Day and we had a fight because he lashed out and I finally stopped taking it. Father's Day or no Father's Day.Both of my parents were neglectful. My mother was the abusive one. And when she wasn't that she was neglectful.
Never loving. I don't remember a single loving embrace from either of them. But then I did dissociate most of my childhood. So I could be in fog about that. Who the heck knows.
Daisym, if you know where any of these studies are, I would like to read them. Thanks
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:835051
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/835051.html