Posted by Dinah on April 17, 2008, at 7:17:44
In reply to Confused and Hurt (possible trigger)~LONG~, posted by LadyBug on April 16, 2008, at 23:25:03
Wow. I'd feel exactly what you're feeling.
I wonder what's going on with her personally? Did she ever give a child up for adoption? Was she adopted? Or did she adopt any of her children? I can't help but think that this is very odd, and probably has more to do with her than with you.
Or maybe she's got something going on with her feelings about her profession. Taking a month long vacations is unusual for a therapist. At least in this part of the world and these days of short term therapy.
It just seems so odd for her to say these things after so long. My therapist expects me to get more needy when something major is going on in my life. And he sometimes is not in great shape himself, and isn't at his best. But he always tries to own it when his stuff is affecting therapy.
Would I want to terminate? Yes, absolutely. I might even do it. But I'd probably crawl back anyway so I might skip the termination anyway.
Is it possible to point out that these are pretty big changes unilaterally made by her, and ask if she could explain the context? If maybe she got consultation and decided to switch course? Or if the situation is triggering for her? If you've misunderstood your relationship? If you've crossed more boundaries than you're aware of (the email)? If something is going on in her personal life?
Doing it with ten minutes left in the session is inexcusable. It's been eleven years. Surely if she didn't allot time to it at the beginning of your session, it could wait until your next session. Eleven years plus one week?
I'd be unbelievably hurt myself. I'd also want to know what space alien took my therapist and replaced him with a pod person. I'd probably want to hide under the bed rather than ask what's going on and risk the answer. Or risk being shut out or shot down when I was trying to take a risk to keep our relationship.
poster:Dinah
thread:823715
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/823747.html