Posted by rskontos on February 23, 2008, at 23:13:30
In reply to Re: Took A Risk And Got Burned RSK » rskontos, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2008, at 20:57:44
Dinah, she has called back probably three times and each time I decide I can't talk to her anymore. I can't be her therapist. We have good moments but she rails at me too. This last time I called her for my other sister, she hasn't spoken to her either for the same length of time. It was a mistake I think. For days after although in this case it has only been a day, I am very shaky and triggery and flashbacks are on the rise. She confirmed the possible SA and whom the abuser was. That threw me for a loop though and I have not processed it. And then my T threw me for another loop when I told him. Then the last session I had switched on him before I got to therapy (on the drive there),switched back right before going in and then switch again as I walked in, it all proved to be way too much so I just passed out on him. Very weird session as we tried to process all of this. I remained very shaky through it and realized afterwards that a different one came to "help" during the end of therapy to get me through it. Like I said way too much switching.
My sister is convinced I had it so much better than her growing up, she doesn't not understand dissociation, she thinks I am in denial. And still keeps saying why are you so bad and I am doing ok. We ended it with me trying to explain how denial and dissociation are different. I tried to explain over and over that she is looking at this through childhood perceptions with adult eyes and how that is going to hold us back in developing this relationship further, she just doesn't seem to be able to relinish her ideals of me as someone innocent too--I don't know what else to do. I really am trying to remain positive but I am getting too triggery with this all so I have to back off for my own protection. When I hang up from her my inner voices are screaming. She called back to say she needed time to process this and I said I do too. And she was actually taken aback that I said I needed time. Like it did not occur to her.
Dinah, thanks for taking the time to be concerned and ask. It has truly been hard and shaky time for me right now. And hard to post.
So thanks
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:813053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/814348.html