Posted by littleone on November 16, 2007, at 3:56:44
In reply to Attachment and Missing my T, posted by sunnydays on November 13, 2007, at 16:11:16
I found it really really hard to accept that my mum was actually a really crap mum. It was total disbelief at first, then I fluctuated around all sorts of things like blaming her past, blaming myself, more disbelief, lots of anger, lots of grief, blaming the situation she was in.
It was really really hard just to accept it as it was. I think I must accept it more now because now there's just heaps of anger and heaps of sadness at what I missed out on and how could she do that to me.
You probably won't like my answer. I know I would hate it. I would want to hear something I could do *now* to fix it. But to be completely honest, I only accepted it by going through all the phases over and over and continuing to write about it and think about it and talk about it with my T. Over and over and over.
But doing that *does* move you forward.
Keep going sunnydays. This sounded like such an important talk with your T. What you said all makes total sense to me and I know that if you keep thinking about what he said you will move forward.
And it is really sad.
I have a miserable part that holds lots of the sad around my mum issues. I bought a little dinosaur that represents that part which makes it easier for me to care for that part. It's something I can hold adn talk to kindly adn gently and my miserable part feels that kindness and gentleness adn slowly lets it in.
Be kind to your sad little girl. She deserves all teh kindness in teh world.
poster:littleone
thread:794882
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071105/msgs/795418.html