Posted by happyflower on November 10, 2007, at 15:26:32
I am sorry I haven't been posting much the last couple of days. Ever feel triggered by someone who reminded you of someone from your past, even online? It just feels scarey sometimes to meet someone in real life or online who reminds me of the personality of my mother.
My radar goes off, and I feel like I need to protect myself. I know those are my issues from the past, but my mother's issues were not all that unique and it really hurts to come across someone who acts like her. Especially if you tried to trust and you misjudged your gut feeling because everyone else likes them, and got hurt in the process, because you didn't listen to that feeling. It scares the bezeebers out of me. My mom seemed like the nicest person in the world, people liked her, but they really didn't know her. (all of her) and it is frightening to be able to see that other side hidden in people.
Sometimes the world feels so scary and I just want to run away. To where I don't know, somewhere that is safe, if that even exhists in this big disfunctional world. I am going to take a break for awhile and not be reading for awhile. I don't mind babblemails from my friends though. I just need to stay away from triggers while going through my trauma therapy. Until those buttons stop getting pushed,(nothing intentional) I need to feel safe and stay away for awhile at least until I can handle my past feelings.
poster:happyflower
thread:794291
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071105/msgs/794291.html