Posted by happyflower on October 7, 2007, at 8:18:25
In reply to Re: Feeling better I think » happyflower, posted by LadyBug on October 6, 2007, at 23:34:05
Thanks Ladybug,
It feels weird to feel good you know? Feels foreign to me, I don't have to fake it, I really do feel good. Weird, weird, weird!
I hope my old T sees it as a postive thing. He really did help me a lot and I am grateful for that even though things got rough at the end. I was thinking that my last session, I might have seems angry(it was after that very draining EMDR session the day before). I told him that I would never forget him and then he said something to the effect, well I hope it isn't because of the bad stuff. I think he took it kinda hard when I said I never thought I would have to EMDR because of him. I think it finally sunk in at that point how hurt I really was.
But I am finally seeing beyond that hurt now. I have been talking about that relationship with my new T now, and it feels like things are settling for me about it. I still care very much for my old T and I miss talking to him, seeing him at the gym. I miss him because our relationship really meant something to me.
But looking at things in hind site I can see what happened and why and it makes me feel better. I wasn't the only one feeling the connection, he was too, and it make him struggle to be objective with me. I think he really tried too. So I guess sh*t happens sometimes. I guess I am surprised as much as I was hurt, I can still see him in a very postive light. This is new to me, I guess I learned something from this, and not take it all negatively because I felt hurt. I wish things could have been different, but I accept what things are now. I will be okay.
Sorry for rambling on, I get like this before therapy tomorrow. lol Thanks for your support Ladybug.
poster:happyflower
thread:787264
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787492.html