Posted by happyflower on September 30, 2007, at 15:33:27
In reply to Re: I don't feel like going to therapy tomorrow » Dinah, posted by happyflower on September 30, 2007, at 15:09:13
I even asked him last week if it is uncomfortable for him to listen to me about what happened with my old T. He said no, he can handle it, he has matured enough as a T where it might be hard for some newer T's, he is okay with it. He said it is hard for him to see me suffering emotionally about it because he still has his sensitivity.
The reason I asked him was because he seems reluctant to hear my whole story about what happened with my old T. I told him he doesn't know everything yet, but yet he says he knows enough to know what happened.
Well this makes me think that he doesn't want to know more, because if he did, he would be required by law to do something and he wants to protect his collaege. I could be wrong, it could be other reasons too.
From the beginning he tells me he is going to be reserved in what he says about it. Well last week I told him that when he says that, I feel like he doesn't believe me, and that I have done something wrong and not my old T. Then he finally said that my old T should have used other ways to reset his boundries with me, one's that shouldn't have hurt me. That my old T acted out when he became unconfident in the situation, mainly out of lack of self esteem. We talked about how the bigger the ego, the less self esteem most people have.
I feel a little better about this. My new T knew my old T was being resistant to talk about my feelings. So I think he is really trying to honest with me, especially over sensistive topics like this one. He is trying to show me how T's feel about this when it happens to them with a client in other circumstances. I am really getting to know firsthand on how T's feel about clients, they do have feelings too. I am learning a lot about both sides but sometimes I don't want to hear about my old T's side. He just won't say to me that my old T messed up. He finally has said he should have used other ways. I guess that is close as I am going to get on this. He has said that my old T was only human. It makes me wonder when we come to the child abuse issues, that he won't say my mother did something wrong. I know he will say she is only human, that's a given, I hear that every session.
When I said I think my father really did the best he knew how, he then said so did my mother. I am not sure what to think of this.
Is being human a good excuse for what my T and what my mother did to me? Am I just suppose to accept it because they are only human? Just boggles my mind.
poster:happyflower
thread:786055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/786078.html