Posted by Racer on September 28, 2007, at 22:12:11
In reply to Re: Why am I afraid of rejection by a troll? » Dory, posted by RealMe on September 28, 2007, at 21:36:56
Thank you all for your responses. They all gave me something to think about.
I, too, agree with Dory that there's a lot of this that has to do with loyalty and my love for my late friend.
Today, I got an email from another mutual friend -- of the mother's, that is -- saying she'd has several telephone calls from the daughter, who left messages saying that I'd "kissed her off" entirely, and no doubt going on to talk about how unfair and cruel I was to do so. (I imagine that's the case, although I haven't heard back yet.) This friend also bcc'd me an email she sent in response, which said, "Um, no, Racer told you she wouldn't talk to you about this one subject. That's not a kiss off, you can call about other things. By the way, it's not fair to turn to someone for help all the time with things that really require professional attention." She also pointed out that only plumbers accept only being called in emergencies.
That reaction brought home to me something my T had said about her: the constant crises, the substance abuse, the binge eating, the dichotomous thinking, the over-reactions -- they really do add up to borderline. I've had that feeling for a long time, although I wasn't sure all of it fit. This, though, really does bring the picture into clearer focus for me.
Especially since you'll notice she's calling her mother's friends. Anyone else here wonder why it is that she only has her mother's friends to call?
Oh, and my husband says he thinks it's about my whole need for approval thing. He was kind enough to say that "there are people like us who want approval." He's so sweet -- yes, he wants approval, but he's not nearly so weird about it as I am.
Thanks again for the responses so far. Any other comments cheerfully -- and gratefully -- accepted.
poster:Racer
thread:785738
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/785827.html