Posted by gardenergirl on May 31, 2007, at 8:16:28
In reply to Feeling scared, T today, lots of rambling talk, posted by Happyflower on May 31, 2007, at 7:48:10
Gosh, with all that going on, I think it's only natural you would feel more depressed. That's all the kind of stuff that would affect me that way, too, especially feeling physically crappy.
I can understand your worry about disappointing your T if you're not doing well, especially after what he said. Try to remember that he may do a very good job, and you may do a very good job with the work, but sometimes life throws curveballs we can't duck or hit out of the park easily. And though that feels lousy at the time, it doesn't negate all your progress, and it doesn't mean that you're not doing something right or something.
Okay, I might be projecting my own stuff into your dilemma, because this is something my T and I talked about just yesterday. I told him that I've come to the conclusion that dealing with recurrent depression is all about disease management. It's just like learning to manage diabetes, and adapting your management of it when circumstances change, i.e. illness, increased stress, etc. In my case, what I meant was that I've gotten better at assessing whether increased depression is biologically related, situational, or "emotional". The better I am at figuring this out, the better I am at addressing it and getting back to feeling well. Still, when another depression rears its ugly head, even though I might be a bit more skilled at dealing with it, maybe, it still feels just as lousy. :(
So I guess what I'm saying is that first, I'm sorry you're going through all that. What a huge load on your plate. And second, it makes perfect sense that you would feel worse at a time like this, and that doesn't mean that either of you aren't still doing a "good job". And finally, you're already doing stuff to address it: going to your session, asking your DH for increased support, recognizing the effects of what's going on around you...that's all good.
Still, I'm sorry you're feeling worse, and I hope you feel better, physically and emotionally very soon.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:760507
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/760516.html