Posted by Daisym on April 20, 2007, at 23:12:14
In reply to Pity Party - Thanks and a question -- All, posted by JoniS on April 20, 2007, at 22:17:08
Caught me. My MO is to leave my stuff at the door whenever possible. I help other people soooo much better than I help myself. I throw myself into my work, into trying to help here and I research, read and write until I'm exhausted. Less time to think, or maybe too tired to remember? I don't know. But yeah, same person. I think.
Sessions with my therapist usually help, as much as I might fight that. He is tough on me to not hold it in and he reminds me that he is holding the hope. I told him Thursday that I forget what I'm hoping for.
And the truth is, I've done this my whole life. I've gone from being abused in the afternoon to eating dinner with the family - and no one notices anything is wrong. I spent whole weekends with my dad and was returned to my mom on Mondays a complete wreck...and she never noticed. So I guess I'm just really good at putting away the horror of how I feel and being "fine" in the world.
Funny that you should post this. At group this week I was so triggered off and on that edge of hysterical. But I stopped myself and said, "it's fine." The group therapist said, "how did you just do that?" I was surprised and said, "what, swallow the tears? Are you kidding? Years of practice..."
So - so.
But, You didn't completely answer my question though - which was sincere. Or maybe I didn't ask it in a complete enough way -- How do you know he cares about you? (I'm glad you know he does.) I'd really like to know.
poster:Daisym
thread:751260
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/751824.html