Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2007, at 9:15:24
In reply to one down one to go, posted by gazo on April 2, 2007, at 8:49:01
My therapist has taught me over the years that he just can't read my mind. And that if I hope he gives me what I need without my asking for it, I'm going to be gravely disappointed.
Which doesn't mean that there aren't reactions to what I told him that made me trust him more, and reactions to what I've told other therapists that caused me to walk.
But flexibility and openness to learn from you about you makes up for some initial lack of understanding. Many is the time when my therapist and I have fought about things that we each felt strongly about, yet fought to a ground that we were both comfortable holding.
In addition to his reaction, you might try to look at why he reacted that way, and how likely he is to respond to your reactions about his reactions.
The boyfriend who doesn't know that you need to surprise him with flowers may show his love in a dozen small practical ways. The way he reacts to your telling him that you really need him to sometimes surprise you with flowers may tell you more about his character and love than the ability to read your mind would.
I get angry with my therapist for not being able to read my mind sometimes, but in the end I think a lot of intimacy can be reached by sharing what I need and why I need it, and having him respond.
Just my two cents, for whatever they're worth. As I told you, I know nothing about relationships. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:746201
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/746205.html