Posted by scentedgarden on March 6, 2007, at 17:27:58
In reply to appt with T today, posted by wishingstar on March 6, 2007, at 16:27:22
> Saw my T this morning. It didnt go so great.
I'm sorry to hear that... and i'm not very good at this shring advice on here but i just want to offer support and any comfort i can from my own place of hurt... if that makes sense!?
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> She mentioned the possibility of trying intensive longer-term residential treatment.. something longer than just a hospital psych unit. A residential facility. No way. No way no way no way. I may be really depressed, but I'm not crazy. I refuse to drop out of life completely, as I'd have to do in order to go into a program like that, unless I'm dead.**Wishing star... I think in my opinion that you're very right to feel this way, and I agree and support you 100%...!!!!!
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> She asked if I'd cut yesterday and when I said no, she said she was surprised. Nothing like your T having so much confidence in you, huh? (sarcasm)This is a bitch and i know it probably hurt you lots... Mine told me she is disappointed in me, and don't trust me no more>><< so i can understand that feeling, and your exprerssing it aas sarcasm, becasue you are hurt... and I'm sorry I really wish I could make it all better for you Wishing star..!!
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> We spent most of the session talking about my cases at work and the kid's stories. It's easier to talk about other people than yourself. I think it's just that neither of us know what to say to each other now.**God almighty that rings so true... you know.. we do probably talk more than is needed about others... and when i THINK OF ALL THOSE APPTS i THREW AWAY CHATTING ABOUT OTHERS INSTAED OF THE REAL ISSUE, IT'S SO PAINFUL.. Now i'd ive anyhting to have those appts back again, but no body told me that therapy worked that way..! there was no guidance in how to do it right... KNow what I mean??... thanks for sharing this with us..
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> She was unhappy that I stopped taking my meds after I got out. But I'm NOT going to take a med that puts my blood pressure down to 78/44 (yesterday morning) and pulse up to 145. Thats more than an annoying side effect.. its dangerous and scary. I knew she wouldnt be thrilled with that. I tried to tell her I'm not playing games. I dont know if she believed me.I hate it when they think we are playing games... BUT I BELIEVE YOU!!! AND I ALSO THINK YOU MADE A VERY WISE CHOICE... any Dr. in their right mind would never have asked you to continue on a new drug with side effects as such... NOT one!!! and yet therapist seem to just miss the whole bloody point sometimes..! what can I say..?? I don't know if my reply is a help .. I'm kinda new at this and I'm hurting so much right now myself.. I was given some tranqualizers for severe agaitation in the last few weeks and they make my heart race while knocking me out and making me drowsy.. I crashed my car a little twice, exploded my washing machine, and bumped into things hurting myself, and other things i cant remember right now...anyway - so I know what it's like to get new meds and not feel well from them... But they did knock me out which I needed !!! ... PLease will the Dr. prescribe you some nre and better agreeable meds in place of this..? I hope so, but if not it certainly sounds as though you're doing the right thing by staying off those ones..!!
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> It feels like it just doesnt matter now. I've lost her. We've lost each other. Neither of us has the first clue what to even say.I"m all out of what to say here >> I'm sorry forgive me for not helping right now... It's just sad to read this and I hate to see it happening... It seems Dinah is right, there is a lot of this stuff going around right now...
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> I'm seeing Laurie, my old T from this summer, next Wed. It was Ginnys suggestion, to see her once. I guess Ginny is hoping that Laurie will smack some sense into me and get things rolling for us again. But I went in there ready and willing to talk today, and the connection was just gone.Maybe it will be better at the next appointment.. maybe the connection is not lost completely... I don't think it's your fault that the connection is gone but i don't really know..!! PLease don't hurt about it... if you can please be kind to yourself... as Im sure she isnt hurting that much... just as my T aint at home crying over me...(9 what a foolish thought of mine )
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> I'm really, really wanting to just quit therapy. She knows this. We're talking about the idea. There is no where else in town I could go twice a week either.. it was only this one place, and now their rules have changed. I'd rather cope on my own than be teased by it once a week. That's just enough to bring up the feelings, but not enough to really work through stuff (at least as things are right now) or let me feel supported.Quiting therapy is hard.. and maybe it feels that way for you now, but hey! you have a hterapsit willing to see you once a week.. forgive me but thats the most I ever saw mine in 4 yrs was once weekly , and so i just like you to know that lots of good work CAN be done even once a week..!! I'd give anyhting right now to have those weekly appointment s abck, BOY WOULD I MAKE THE MOST OF IT, if i had the chance to do over>>>> and I did feel supported by it, and we did lots of really good bonding, and CBT, and transference and counter transference... we did it all on a once weekly routine...Maybe you can try it... as it's not so bad really, the weeks begin to fly past.. and before you know it the day to go to therpay is in the next day again..!
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> She knows how I feel about all of that.. about not getting enough support, wanting to quit, etc.well if she knows , then surerly she will tell you why she is only offereing once weekly... she will surely discuss it all with you Wishing Star... I remeber asking mine to see me more and she maintained it wasnt helpful for me in the long run... and that we could still do good work with weekly sessions... I guess in hindsight she was right... and i just didnt know it until now....So please if you can avoid wasting the chance aS I FEEL I CERTAINLY DID... please concsider remaining in it...hanging in there and having a chance to continue the good work you have begun.. (If im talking bollocks pls forgive me - as I dont know your whole history..>> I'm just passing on my best feelings and thought and experience that I had.. if anything can help you I wish you well...)
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> I wish I knew what to do.
I wish you will know... I wish the same for me too... and I believe deep down the answer will shine through...bright and clear, just like you Wishing Star!!It hurts. *** Oh baby... It's going to be okay... everyhting will be allright.... It will be ...It hass to be.... the pain and hurt it must stop... we ? YOU deserve a good life without the pain and hurt so much ...yeah?!
I'm feeling alone. (((Wishing Star)))) You're NOT alone.. I care about you.. we care about you... People on here look out for you and care very much... PLease baby... you're never alone..
=Thinking of you and sending you Peaceful and comfort thoughts all the way to America from here...Sg
poster:scentedgarden
thread:738775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/738793.html