Posted by wishingstar on January 17, 2007, at 19:09:24
Happyflower, your post inspired me to post this. I think it's as helpful to share positive experiences/stories as it is to share painful ones. It gives me hope anyway.
I had a wonderful session with Ginny today. And last week was wonderful also. 2 weeks in a row. I'm not sure if it's because my mood has been better, or because of the conversation we had about therapy, or what... but it's great.
Today we talked about Anne. The topic that just never gets old, right? It hadnt come up in awhile but I'm waiting for her to call me about an insurance matter, so a lot of feelings about her have been stirred up again. I told Ginny more detail about her, things she'd said/done that were hurtful, expressed my hurt and frustration... and wondered out loud how much of what happened was made worse between us because of how I behaved. The rest of the session Ginny really was "real" with me. Of course she held her boundaries, but she made it very clear to me that she doesnt think I did anything wrong at all, and that it was purely Anne's bad judgment. We laughed about how bad it was in fact. I told her a friend had said Anne probably wont call (but write a letter instead) because she's too much of a chicken-sh*t, and Ginny basically agreed! She said she doesnt think she'll call either. I definitely felt Ginny on my side. It felt so good. It was the first time any T has really taken a stance on Anne with me. As I was about to leave, she looked right at me and said "it's not your fault, okay?" That hit a deep spot in me.
I mentioned one story I'd told Anne that was huge for me and she never reacted to. It's an issue that is long passed, but Ginny heard it, and said she wants to talk about it anyway because it's important, even if it is over. Ginny, thank you! She is the greatest. I feel so heard.
I feel like I'm getting to know her as a person. She uses a lot of examples from her own life and doesnt feel quite so removed to me. That helps.
I hope I'm not jinxing anything by posting this. But I just wanted to share. I'm so happy to finally be feeling good with therapy. And oddly enough, I dont feel as desperate to be there every single day as I have with other Ts. It's like I know she's there, I know I'll go back the next time, and it's not the end of the world. Wohoo.
:)
poster:wishingstar
thread:723393
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/723393.html