Posted by sunnydays on November 10, 2006, at 17:29:55
I think I'm broken. I had a complete meltdown last night and cried for over an hour. I managed to call a friend at one point and she came over and just held me while I cried, even though she didn't really understand why I was crying. And I spent the whole day today feeling like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment. I called my T last night and left a message, and I had my appointment with him today, where I cried a lot, and I have only cried twice before there.
He said he was really proud of me for trusting myself enough to let myself cry. And I really didn't know why I was so sad, except that I miss him. But he pointed out I couldn't be missing him if he was right there. And I just want to curl up on his couch and sleep there all weekend. And he said that's a perfectly normal thing to want. He thinks I'm so sad now not just because I miss him but because I'm grieving what I never had. And there's a lot of hope in that, he said, although he knows it feels hellacious being in the middle of it.
But I just want it to be fixed. I'm so so so sad. I just feel like I'm going to cry and I'm scared I'll fall apart.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:702365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/702365.html