Posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2006, at 1:41:15
In reply to a good match..., posted by Pfinstegg on September 18, 2006, at 1:18:18
> Even if it's true that you wanted (for good reason) to push your mother away, and that the same reaction comes up in your therapy sessions, it's only a part of you.
Yeah. I just got to thinking a month or so ago that I probably did push my mother away. I felt that she was invasive at times. Was she? Objectively? Perhaps... I think the real trouble came of poor fit though. Intense emotions from both sides and if she needed comfort and I needed independence and vice versa... Maybe... We both felt rejected by each other.
(Talking very early interactions there. I guess boundary violations came later with hitting and stuff)
(See I'm trying to transcend the Mother bad Father good thing. I got into the spirit of Father not so good after all :-( But sympathy for my Mother is hardest of all...)
> There is another part which clearly wants to be engaged and do the work.
Yes.
> I guess nobody but you can decide whether you have a good enough fit with your present T.Yeah. I'm trying to figure whether it is a bad fit or whether it is a transference response that isn't letting me feel connected and attached to her.
> I'm just wondering- do you work better with men? I do.
Well... I attach a whole heap easier thats for sure. But that being said... Trust is still a hard one. The attachment doesn't come that easy... But it comes, yeah.
I got to thinking that maybe it is better for me not to work with a guy. Because the transference stuff can get really very intense. I thought it might be better for me to work with a female so the transference wouldn't be as intense. But I don't seem to be able to attach to her. Then I got to thinking that might be a transference response that was preventing my attachment...
So confusing...
But then I have had two female t's who I felt attached to. The first I really liked. I couldn't connect with her. Miscommunications all over the place. But I really cared about her and really very majorly cared what she thought of me. So I was attached to her, yeah. Was devistated when she terminated me. And the second one... We figured out how to communicate (mostly). Mostly... They were both like... Big sisters. They weren't all that much older than me. But I was attached yeah.
So...
Maybe... It is just bad fit. Thank you.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:686478
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/687011.html