Posted by muffled on September 13, 2006, at 7:45:02
Got kinda pleased, and overextended myself in my happiness.
Now I scared and wanto retreat. Run, run, run and hide.
When I get happy and content and not on guard....thats when I not ready and prepared, and thats when I get slammed.
Waiting...................................for the axe to fall.............................waiting................................. for the hit.
Protection is on tenterhooks, but well behaved (well thats good).
Actually I had a calm good time w/my kids yesterday. Things DID go smoothly. I felt calm and competant, until the fear and doubt arrived.
I try to hope for more from people, cuz I go and think I worthy or something, and then I do something stupid, cuz I don't know the rules.
I never learned the rules of interaction.
So I f*ck up. And feel so damn stupid.
But this will pass.
I goto know this.
Gods watching out for me.
I goto trust.
My family cares bout me.
This I know.
T. don't think I a shitpile
I've learned that.
Goto NOT listen to the lies.
And remember good stuff.
Like the fact I recognizing 'stuff' AT ALL.
Couldn't do THAT b4.
Really, I AM doing way better.
Yea, way better.
Just goto get used to it is all......
poster:muffled
thread:685515
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/685515.html