Posted by kerria on August 6, 2006, at 0:19:44
In reply to Re: my psychiatrist appt » kerria, posted by muffled on August 5, 2006, at 18:37:35
Thank you ((((((((Muffled)))))))safe hugs.
Since the therapy session last week when the part S. that hates me came out- so much is wrong. That's why i went to the Dr- to help.
It doesn't feel safe and i don't know what part will be out. Work is a mess, everything is a mess. Later i have to remember what happened and try to deal with it. It's so hard to live. i'm always unprepared for what comes out . When we're homeeee it feels safer except when h gets mad. Then we become little and feel like there's no control and it's just as bad as when we were little. It's scary, we're afraid of the dark- afraid for our life. It's like a nightmare that happens but it's real.i can't talk to my parts. When i become one part the other parts aren't here. Who i am keeps changing. i'm never in charge. It hurts so much when h and everyone is angry because i'm angry with myself too.
No meds have helped. i take diazapam - to calm dowm. i'm so afraid of whats going to happen. The physical pain feels like it just happened- when h is angry - goes crazy- out of control-that past a. is present a.
There's not a way to talk to parts to say it's ok now. Sometimes it's really NOT ok at home:(
i do try to talk to S. - the angry part but i'm so afraid. She is angry about things that happened that were our fault- it can't be changed:(
Thanks for being there,
kerria
poster:kerria
thread:674038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/674171.html