Posted by sunnydays on July 24, 2006, at 21:55:58
In reply to Re: worried... » sunnydays, posted by llrrrpp on July 24, 2006, at 21:46:26
Thanks llrrrp. I think you're right. These feelings are SOOOOOOOO powerful, and I am not used to feeling anything at all, period, so it's really hard. And I kind of already brought it up, because I sent him an email, but he won't reply until our next session. I just hate feeling so absolutely desperate like this, because I don't know what to do with myself. I want to hurt myself just to give the pain some purpose, but I won't. I hurt myself accidentally jumping over a fence this weekend, so that hurts enough. I'm just not so good with feelings. I really want to be, but I'm still too scared of them. Bad things have happened in the past when I've allowed myself to feel. But I have to keep reminding myself it wasn't because I allowed myself to feel, but because the people I was with were too screwed up to handle it.
I really want to cry. I just can't. And I hate that feeling where the tears sit behind your eyes and won't come out no matter what.
Thank you for responding.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:670121
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/670184.html