Posted by fallsfall on July 21, 2006, at 10:42:15
Yesterday he accused me of assessing his clothes as I walked into his office. He was right. I was. The color combination looked unusual for him, yet I thought that maybe he had also worn it recently. Like it was a new tie and he was wearing it a lot. When he asked me about it I just told him that I like Bowties. He knows this, we have talked about it before. He pressed a little and all I would say is that I like bowties, but I know he doesn't wear them as much in the summer.
Today was our last session before his 2 week vacation. We've been talking about dependency stuff, and it has been a bit hard. I was pretty depressed yesterday, and then last night I decided that I had to fight that tendency. That I didn't need to SHOW him that I need him. He knows that already. And he is OK with it.
So I went in today and he was wearing a bowtie. He said something about it as soon as he sat down (that I must think him a Skinnerian rat - which I so didn't get as he said it). I talked about a dream I had last night (which had a role that was clearly him). And then I said "It was sweet of you to wear a bowtie".
So he launches into this long thing about how he just chooses his clothes and not to think that he did it for me. I told him I usually don't say anything about bowties because I figure that he'll wear them less if I do. He acknowledged that I was probably right. I guess when he was getting dressed this morning he thought to himself "Falls will like it if I wear this bowtie" after he chose it, but decided to wear it anyway. So he is trying hard to tell me that he didn't wear it for me. I told him that I don't know if he did or not, but neither does he. He let it go at that. It feels like a hug.
He is going sailing on the ocean, as he usually does. He'll wait for Beryl to go by, and set out a day or two after he planned. He offered (and I accepted) a probable phone session next Monday. He'll do it as long as he has cell phone access from wherever he is, but he expects that he will. I hate to interrupt his vacation, but it seems like it will be in halves, and he will be between halves at the beginning of August. And I didn't ask. He just offered. Not that he doesn't think I could make the two weeks, but it isn't a big inconvenience for him, and he thinks that it will help me (and I agree).
So I'm feeling a little special and well cared for. And like I'm not a burden. A good way to go into a vacation.
(So why am I still sad??)
poster:fallsfall
thread:668953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/668953.html