Posted by fairywings on April 1, 2006, at 0:10:56
In reply to Heretical thought, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2006, at 12:22:48
The first pdoc/therapist was horrible, and the termination was unbearable bec. he fostered that. After him I saw a wonderful pdoc/T. I loved him, and then left him after about 2 years working with him. I don't even remember the feelings of loving him or leaving him now. It was okay, and I went on to do well. Then maybe 6 years later I saw a woman, never attached but liked her a lot, she made the light bulb go on. I got what I needed, and after a few months I left - no problems - I was fine. I went for years without seeing anyone for myself, or needing any therapy for myself.
Later, I went through a few short times with some marriage counseling, then kid and family counseling a few times over the past 16 years. I went, and left with no problems. I like the T's, and had a relationship, but walked away unscathed. The marriage counselor was wonderful - would have loved her for indiv. therapy, but unfortunately, she died and our therapy ended. It was sad but she gave us so much, and I was grateful for her. The family and kid therapist was female, more of a beloved aunt type, and the boundaries were very loose. I loved her, and think about her, but don't pine for her, never did, and I think at any point if I wanted to see her I could - therapy or semi-social, but I don't need to - I'm okay with not seeing her. She helped my daughter SO much, and I'm grateful, but it ended well.
I saw my ex T, and even that was hard to leave bec. I liked him - he was unlike anyone I've ever known in a good way, and some not so good ways. I still see him at the office, and I like him, but don't miss him because I'm so happy with my current T. I can't imagine terminating. I don't want to....maybe I won't ever have to...I don't know. I just don't want to think about it. I care about him very much, and I get a lot from him. It would be very painful at this point to have to terminate therapy, but I'm in a different place in my life than I was all those other times.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I know it can be done, bec. I've done it, but you have such a long history with your T. It truly would be a great loss. Your feelings .....questioning whether it's all worth it in the first place, are understandable. Not to mention you've been through so many ordeals in the past year. I'd guess that alone makes you want the stability of that relationship.
You're reallly amazing Dinah. I hope you don't have to terminate, or if you do, I hope it's when you're ready, not bec. of circumstances beyond your control.
fw
poster:fairywings
thread:626600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/627365.html