Posted by Dinah on March 17, 2006, at 8:35:54
In reply to Re: Psychotherapy addicting, posted by agent858 on March 16, 2006, at 18:05:38
I think it can, obviously, hurt. A lot. But I'm not altogether sure that the hurting is harmful, if that makes sense. It may depend on what you do with the hurt.
If a person's therapist ties her hurt into earlier history, and the cleint learns about patterns of her own behavior, and ways of thinking, that could help her in her real life, dependence can be helpful even if the inevitable reality hurts.
In my own case, the hurt highlights some things about me. Things I may have never realized about myself and what I want in life. About how I view myself, and what I value. And about how I might not be able to get those things that I didn't even know I wanted, as a person who on the surface at least is an adult. At least not as much as I want them. Maybe I can get them a little. But recognizing that I want them, but can't have them, allows me to grieve them. Which I would never have been able to do if I hadn't recognized them.
I've been hurt by therapy, yes. I'm almost a poster child for when good therapy goes terribly wrong. And some of the lessons from that hurt are things I have to process myself, which isn't as it should be. But would I spare myself the hurt and never have chosen therapy to begin with? No.
I'm a better mom, a better wife (not a great one, but a better one), and a different person, all because of therapy. I can't altogether judge if I'm a better person because of it.
Could I have done it without therapy? Perhaps. Would I have? Doubtful. It just wouldn't have occurred to me.
Could Babble or other groups designed for mutual support and education have provided the same benefits? I'd never know. I wouldn't have been able to stand all the human interaction and the feelings that arose from it without therapy. I'd spent my entire life since middle school (except tenth and twelth grades) avoiding those stimulating and confusing creatures called humans. I didn't understand what I was doing wrong in my interactions with them.
And most importantly, I would have never learned why I did the things I did. I'd have spent my entire life being baffled and confused by myself as well.
Is it addicting? Perhaps. I think self reflection can be addicting too. But it's not addicting without benefit.
And I think the best therapists are like the best parents. They understand that their job is to become, if not redundant, than at least not necessary. That their clients will internalize all they've learned and leave the nest as ready to fly away as anyone is.
Of course, not all parents and not all therapists operate with that end in mind. :) Not all therapists and not all parents are wise enough to see what's going on with their clients or children, or brave enough to address it, or self reflective enough to see what benefit they might be getting that might be leading them to unwittingly encourage dependence. Or virtuous enough to care. And it might be in all clients' best interests to occasionally step back and evaluate those things. Certainly I know a few adult children who ought to do the same thing.
And I am beginning to suspect that particularly attractive individuals perhaps ought to be discouraged from entering a field where the intimate setting and artificial focussing on the client might mimic traditional mating rituals. (smile)
poster:Dinah
thread:620831
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/621251.html