Posted by milly on March 15, 2006, at 7:00:36
In reply to Re: This was soooo wierd ***pos trigger**** » milly, posted by madeline on March 14, 2006, at 11:28:41
Maddie, thanks for you post
> I don't know if your T actually said "you got yourself in a position to be raped because you didn't want to be rude" or if that is something you are just thinking.
To be fair i don't think he was refering to the rape more to the zillion other situations I put up with or blame myself for. I moved it on in my head to include the rape.
> In either case, it is NOT true. What happened to you is a case of an evil person doing an evil thing. Period. You did nothing to "cause" him to rape you. If your T said that, then SHAME ON HIM.> Also, not wanting to be rude is a very natural thing. I mean NOBODY gets up in the morning and decides, you know I think I'm going to be rude all day.
> Being civil and cordial to each other is what makes living with each other possible. In fact, I bet 99.9% of people sitting on that couch would have done the exact same thing you did. And most of them are not stupid people and neither are you.
>
> Finally, there is a difference in being honest and in being rude. I think therein may lie the trouble for you (and for most people too, me included). If you think that being assertive is something you have trouble with, then role-playing is the best thing in the world. Try to engage your therapist in helping you to actually enact and internalize being honest and assertive with people.I just can't seem to help myself seeing things from the other persons perspective and trying desperatly hard to ensure they don't feel the hurt, rejection, humiliation through my actions that i have known.
> I'm sorry you only have three sessions left. Hopefully your T can provide you with referrals that will help you develop a long-term, reliable relationship with a therapist so you can continue to heal.
I'm sorry too I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to 'start again' nor if I could cope with suffering the huge transference again should it occur.
> Bottom line, I don't think you are stupid, I think you are a person doing the best she can.
Thanks
Milly
poster:milly
thread:620167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/620513.html