Posted by pegasus on February 10, 2006, at 8:43:24
In reply to how are we supposed to feel about our T's?, posted by shrinking violet on February 9, 2006, at 21:07:42
You know, I've been in a similar situation. I had a T that I was (am) very attached to, who moved away. Then I tried a bunch of other Ts who I didn't really like. Finally I found one who I felt comfortable with, and I worked with her for about a year and a half. But . . . I never attached to her at all. I never thought about her outside of therapy. I never really wondered what she thought about anything I was saying. I never had the slightest curiosity about her life. I never longed to talk to her. I don't miss her now that I've stopped seeing her.
In my case, I think she did help me. Maybe just by being someone I didn't mind talking to. I really needed to process the stuff about my ex-T leaving, and deal with a couple of other urgent issues. I think I did some good work with her.
And, then I left as soon as things seemed a bit more resolved. There are still some big issues that I never really talked to her about, and never wanted to. Things that were less urgent. Things that I had been about to get into with my old T, before he told me he was leaving. I'm not sure that I'll ever work on those things again. In fact, I doubt that I will.
So, I guess I don't have a good answer for you. I would guess that with a T to whom we are attached, we can get into bigger, deeper, scary-er issues. I think the attachment helps there. But it also seems possible to do some good work with someone to whom we don't attach.
One last thought . . . In my case, I believe that I didnt' attach to the 2nd T in part because I was afraid to, considering what happened with T1. I believe that I subconsiously sought out someone to whom I didn't think I'd become attached. Maybe the same thing is happening for you?
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:608120
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060131/msgs/608265.html