Posted by Daisym on February 5, 2006, at 23:35:15
In reply to Daisy?, posted by fairywings on February 5, 2006, at 19:53:13
I'm tempted to look up Webster's definition of "OK." Yes, I'm "OK." or as I like to say "I'M FINE - F*cked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional." (from the Italian Job.)
I was blessed this weekend to finally give a real hug to Fallsfall. She is as incredible in real life as she is here. That makes life pretty OK.
As far as my struggle with my husband and his temper, I'm still struggling. I don't know what to do yet, which feels really stupid even to me.
The issue with my therapist is really complicated and it will take some time to work through. It feels like a break up of sorts -- reality overlaid on theraputic wishes. I'm suffering a huge loss and yet he still sits in his chair across from me like he always did. He knows he hurt me even though that wasn't his intention. And he knows I need space to figure it out, but he is encouraging me to keep talking about it and not disengage completely. I left him a message on Friday saying it was super hard to know that I couldn't talk over the hurt with him because it was about him. But that I was still really sad that we weren't talking today. He called back (I missed it, stupid bank line) and was so gentle and genuinely pleased that I had left him a message at all. He said that he had faith that our connection was still alive, in both of us. It made me cry and was just the right thing to say.
Do you think I'm just so hopeless that he should give up trying to help me heal? I feel that way tonight. I feel like a big drain on his energies, and actually on Babble's too lately. I can make a strong case right now for disappearing completely. Unfortunately, I'm just too damn responsible for that.
:(
Are you sorry you asked now?
poster:Daisym
thread:606705
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060131/msgs/606784.html