Posted by muffled on December 12, 2005, at 11:19:32
Y'know ever since the topic of my inside kid came up (just once). I have been feeling extreemly defensive to my T for some reason. It was only a passing reference, and the next appt. we didn't mention it, proly cuz I was so taken aback the week b4. I sent my T a rather wacky fax:
Sometimes when I'm so alone,
Noone can be inside with me
I can't let them know
I can't be exposed.
I guess I some exposed w/T...
But I like a wolf with its underbelly exposed...
I got teeth
And I can twist around and use them
if I need to.
Noone will ever eat me
Noone can get me
I am a beast with teeth
And I can fight back.
I can and I will
So nobody better f*ck w/me.
Thats what I say.
You got that?I hope she don't get offended by that. :(
Maybe I trying to scare her off?Then...I sent this:
I THINK I MAY BE A LITTLE BIT CRANKY...
Ya, but can you take it? Maybe you kinda soft. I kinda wonder sometimes. I wouldn't want to hurt someone inadvertently. That'd be bad. I don't hurt people.
But thats the thing. Don't matter if you dump me, thats ok, cuz I don't need you, I don't need nothing, I don't need anybody, not really.
Can't take the heat get out of the kitchen, thats what I always say.
Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Sorry eh. Maybe I am PMS'ing.
(at the bottom I drew a picture of a sad face)It was done if diff fonts etc. Somewhat artistic.
I'm not sure why I am doing this?
Am I trying to drive her away? Do I not wanto share inside kid? Am I trying to protect T? I just not sure what I thinking, and now I got appt tomorrow to go to and I feel weird and dumb and crazy and I kindof afraid to go. Not that I afraid ever!
What if she pities me cuz I crazy. I couldn't stand that. What if I make her cry. I couldn't stand that either. It'll proly be a big nothing, and I couldn't stand that either.
See, I crazy.
Anybody can tell me their idea of why I am being so stupid?
Muffled :(
Maybe I should change my name to perpetually confused.
:-(
poster:muffled
thread:588324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588324.html