Posted by happyflower on November 28, 2005, at 6:05:58
In reply to For HappyFlower » happyflower, posted by orchid on November 28, 2005, at 1:52:39
HI orchid,
I didn't believe in soul mates either until I met my T . It is hard to explain it, but it is a feeling of being one with that person. I felt this the first time I met him. I didn't know what the feeling was at first, but there is this connectedness feeling.
As far as getting married, even with a soul mate you still have to work at a marriage. No marriage is easy, it takes a lot of understanding, patience, love, and so many things on so many levels. But if you mesh with a person on a lot of levels, it is easier, not easy, but easier.
As far as my marriage, it takes two to save it. I am trying, but if the other person doesn't even want to talk to you or spend time with you , it makes it really hard to work on issues. Plus he refuses to do marriage therapy. So what am I suppose to do? Do I stay in sexless, emotionaless, empty marriage for the sake of my kids? I am still trying to weigh that out. This is what my remaining therapy sessions are about these days. I would have done with therapy months ago my T said, but because of what is going on in my marriage, I am still in therapy to help save the relationship.But it has been dead since last March. I have tried to do everything my T suggests. Nothing is working. I can't make him love me, if he doesn't epecially if he is in love with somebody else. ( a whole other issue, he won't talk about)
Meanwhile I am trying to help fullfill my life with other things to cover the void I feel. I am doing a lot of stuff, and it feels great, I am not just a wife and mother, but I have myself to be happy with. I am enjoying life so much now days. It is rich with converstaions with other people, playing music, doing yoga, working out everyday. I feel really good. I am also in training with my trumpet teacher to become a great classical trumpet player. Hopefully in a year, I will be trying out for some of the professional symphonies in my area. I feel like I am living out my dreams. It is wonderful, it is the only thing keeping me sane during my unhappy marriage.
If I can work it out with my DH, then yes, I want to stay in my marriage. I love my DH dearly and would love to keep my family together. But so far, we are nothing close to that.
poster:happyflower
thread:582451
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051118/msgs/582915.html