Posted by JenStar on October 21, 2005, at 19:17:18
In reply to Counter-transference : a novel /, posted by fallsfall on October 21, 2005, at 18:00:36
hi falls,
The situation sounds quite difficult all around. But I have to say that I disagree with your therapist in one regard -- that about keeping therapy COMPLETELY private.You own your life, your emotions and your friends, not him -- and you should be able to talk to whomever you want about whatever you want. It's ironic because I was justing talking in a different thread about how it's OK to keep secrets from spouses and close friends, esp. if it's about therapy. But by the same token, you should be able to share all, too!
I'm not sure how much friends, Babble discussions and threads on-line change the course of a therapy. If they DO change it, well, that's life and it will have to be integrated into the therapy.
Therapy can't exist in a void, in a vacuum, in a black box -- it has to incorporate EVERYTHING about a person's life experiences. If you have close friends with whom it's helpful to discuss therapy, then you & your therapist needs to understand that and work with it.
At least, that is what I think! :)Sure, nobody can know what someone else's T, or mother, or spouse, or dog, is thinking at any given time. But by reading and offering conjecture and different opinions, I think we can expand our own breadth of ideas and expand out thinking. It gives more possibilities and helps us think about other points of view.
If you're using friend discussions as an exuse to backslide or steer away from difficult work, that could be brought up in the therapeutic setting. But if you just get ideas & support from the friends, hopefully the T can just ask you to keep an open mind -- don't take their ideas as "gospel" and always check with him if you're unsure about his motivations, thoughts, etc. The truth is, you're going to form your OWN opinions about him/his motivations regardless of whether you talk about it to friends or not. So if the friends "taint" the process, so you do yourself!
hmmmm. It's interesting. I'll be interested to see what others think about this!
Have you decided what you're going to do?
take care!
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:570043
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/570111.html