Posted by daisym on September 28, 2005, at 0:49:50
In reply to Daisy?, posted by gardenergirl on September 26, 2005, at 22:15:31
Life is Hard so I haven't had much to say here. I wish I could be more supportive. The house is so quiet, I should have lots of time to post. Instead I just seem to sit.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to come back and whine. I'm struggling on so many fronts, especially at work. There are hours and days that I just don't think I can face up to anymore of the stress. If I can't save the company, I wish it would just go down quickly. Or maybe I'm just wishing that I could go down quickly.
We had a rocky restart to therapy. I told him that I did fine while he was gone so perhaps this is the right time to cut back. He was frustrated and said that even though he expected this reaction on my part, he wished he knew how to help me not go to that isolated, lonely place. He asked me if I had felt in parts and pieces while he was gone...did any part of me miss him? Well, of course, but still I wondered how I was ever going to be able to separate from him if I didn't pull back now? He is giving me space, but not too much, I can tell he is worried about all the stuff I have going on. There were good parts of the session too.
I've felt needy all day -- wanting to just be in the safety of his office. I knew this was going to happened as soon as I saw him. I need to tell him that part of the pull back is this twisted theory that if I do decide I can't take anymore, I want to protect him some how from feeling like he should have known. Don't worry -- I'm not there yet. I've just been examing my motives for wanting to pull away and there are several strands to it.
I did ask if it was hard for him to come back to work. He said no, he had a great time but he was glad to be back and he missed me. I made a sarcastic comment but gosh it was nice to hear. I'm such a sap.
Thanks for checking on me.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:560030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/560488.html