Posted by daisym on August 26, 2005, at 0:08:51
In reply to Re: Attachment and loss...possible trigger » daisym, posted by gardenergirl on August 25, 2005, at 21:50:05
****He said I want guidance and reassurance. And he doesn't want to collude with me by giving that. But wouldn't a good parent give that? I don't really know. I never got that. Is it so terrible to want it now?****
No, it isn't terrible to want it. We all want guidance and reassurance sometime. We all need it sometime. And sometimes we need a small push towards self-reassurance and trusting in our own instincts. A good parent, or friend, or therapist, balances those things.
My therapist said today that we could go slow and that I was in complete control of what we talked about or how deep we go with something. I wanted to shout, "I don't want to be in control -- I want YOU to be in control!!!" It would be easier to get mad at him for "making" me talk about some of this stuff than taking responsibility for it. But he won't, I know that. He also said, "do you think it is important for us to talk about this some more?" I thought for a minute and said, "isn't that your job? To know if we should keep talking about this?" He was quiet and then said, "you know I always think we should talk about things, look at things, leave no stone unturned, look under every rock, leaf and log. I've always told you that. But it is still at your pace, your lead and your tolerance."
I guess no matter what we do, they want us to be in charge of ourselves. I just wish I didn't have to be in charge 24/7.
poster:daisym
thread:546244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050824/msgs/546796.html