Posted by alexandra_k on July 19, 2005, at 3:43:10
In reply to conclusion: i'm a fool, posted by shrinking violet on July 18, 2005, at 13:08:38
Hello. I don't think you are a fool, but I get that it can be really really really hard to try and make sense of terminations. To struggle with those questions.
I've been terminated a lot. I really couldn't count the number of times. To start with it really hurt a lot. Actually, who am I kidding, it still really hurts a lot. But I used to get really mad about it. I'd think they must be so stupid they had no comprehension of how much they hurt me. Or maybe they knew exactly what they were doing but figured that I deserved the pain. Or maybe they saw me and really despised me (as anyone would) and so it was my fault for being such a horrible person. And round and round I'd go... Was it their fault or was it mine?
I try real hard not to do that anymore. I think they do care. But probably nowhere near as much as we come to care about them. I think they do know it will hurt - but probably no idea just how much. I think they think it is for the best overall.
Its hard. Its hard to come to some sort of understanding that can leave one with a sense of peace. I think I can find that now... But it takes a bit of time. And those feelings still resurface at times.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:529541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/530025.html