Posted by Tamar on July 12, 2005, at 17:40:12
In reply to Re: I'm sick » LittleGirlLost, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2005, at 16:04:43
> It's the fear of losing that really gets me. I've been thinking a lot about Bunty lately, because I found the poem I wrote when she died. And I was remembering how I imagined every possible thing that could happen to her, and how I would prevent it. Yet in the end, I accidentally knocked her off the bed with my knee and she fell in such a way that she died. I hadn't anticipated that one.
Dinah, I'm so, so sorry. How awful for you. If only we could anticipate life's horrors and keep those we love safe. There's such a huge insecurity in trying to make sure everything will be all right and yet knowing that some disasters will happen that we can't predict. How long ago did she die?
> Having things means having something to lose.
Yes. And the fear of loss can sometimes mar the joy of having.
> I'm not sure I don't want to have them, but I'd sure like to be less afraid of loss, or abandonment.Dare I ask... Do you feel responsible for what happened to Bunty? It seems to me that this is so much more complex than simply loss, especially as you indicated that you took great care to protect her and then her accidental death came about like some kind of tragic irony. How much of the responsibility for her death can you attribute to circumstance? Are you blaming yourself? I hope not. But I know people do sometimes blame themselves for things that weren’t their fault.
poster:Tamar
thread:526600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/526818.html