Posted by 10derHeart on June 17, 2005, at 0:06:46
In reply to Re: Sharing an Email Sent to My T. (very long) » 10derHeart, posted by Damos on June 16, 2005, at 17:21:31
> Thank you so much for sharing your T-mail.
I just love that term "T-mail." It's completely perfect. May I use it in the future? I want to tell my T., too - he will like it.>>When I was reading it I kinda slipped sideways in my head if that makes any kinda sense. They became my words. Words that I needed to hear myself say. Thank -you.
Oh, I wouldn't wish most of those words on anyone else. But, we do all try to be as honest as we can here, and I know you've said before you have some pretty bad feelings about yourself. I understand - as you can surely see. :-( Hope we can BOTH see, though, with it all written down, how "over-the-top" it mostly is - we can't *really* be all that....but d*mn if it isn't more ingrained than I thought.... Don't know how to take your thanks, though...?
> You are so not pathetic or weak or worthless, and you are certainly not a joke. And your T-mail is most definitely not cr*p. Far, far from it.Thank you. But you see what I let you see on Babble. I really am doing next to nothing IRL now that makes my getting up each day mean much. I seem to have (on purpose, in some ways) dug myself into quite a messy place, socially, financially, mentally, emotionally - only spiritually can I say I'm steadily hanging on to some goodness - and for me that may make *all* the difference...I hope....
>>Each time I read it it effects me tangibly, physically.
Wow. That's powerful. I can't really imagine how. Except that you shudder in disgust at all my *fine* qualities? :-( But obviously that's not what you meant. Can you describe that more? Only if you want to, though, of course.
> I am so glad he responded to you in the way he did, sounds like a 'keeper' to me.
Yup. We're still struggling. But what's great is that it's OK to do that. He seems to welcome the constant checking, questioning, picking apart of the relationship itself. I need that in a T. Funny - yesterday I about wanted to kill him (figuratively), 'cause I felt he'd disappointed me somehow....but only for a few hours. (Depression and crushing lonliness tend to warp one's view) Today, he made me feel so secure, smart and comfortable with a simple email, I am *okay* again for a while. He is a good man and a good T. No wonder, as he was recommended by my former T. - the best T. in the world (well except for Daisy's, Dinah's, Voce's ex.-T, etc., etc., etc....)
>For all the things the T-mail and post made you feel about yourself know that they helped someone, and that you help so many someones just by your very being. I am so proud to know you 10der and so full of admiration of your honesty, humour, courage and resiliance.
I don't know what to say, Damos. You're something else. I just can't even respond to that. I just wish....nah, it doesn't matter right now... many warm hugs to you >> (((((Damos)))))
poster:10derHeart
thread:512970
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/514141.html