Posted by Aphrodite on May 26, 2005, at 21:18:11
In reply to (((Aphrodite))), posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 19:56:27
> I've missed you soooo much!
>
> I hope you've been well.
>
> And doing well in therapy (to make this Psych Board related).Thanks, Dinah! You're always so sweet.
Not doing to well, I'm afraid. A depressive episode for the first time ever has lowered my functioning. I missed 4 days of work, more than the previous 4 years combined. Some days I could log on to read, but that took a lot of psychic energy. I've been pretty anhedonic, which is new and scary for me. We've had beautiful weather and that is always a life-saver for me as I love to be outdoors. However, I would sit staring out of my window thinking, "I remember liking this. I know I do." But I couldn't feel it all or conjure up those feelings through memories. I wasn't tempted to enjoy anything at all.
And therapy (to keep this psych board related as you said) has not been available as a support for various benign reasons, mostly scheduling, but also my fear of being "too much" for my already overworked T. When I need therapy the most, when things are most frightening, I tell him, "Really busy at work! I'll call when I can." and he believes me because I have a demanding career:( When I snap out of this, I plan to tell him my deceptive self-protection so he can call me on it in the future. It's so scary to lose that lifeline.
Are you sorry you asked? Things are getting better, though. I see more hope than I did yesterday, and I hope to see more tomorrow. Thanks so much for caring.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:503336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/503372.html